10 Habits of Ineffective Christian Leaders

10 Habits of Ineffective Christian Leaders

Pastor Terry Hagedorn, Calvary Baptist Church, Reedsville, WV

1. Ineffective leaders lead by word only—not by word and example:

“Do as I say—not as I do!” (What you are speaks so loudly people cannot hear what you say.)

2. Ineffective leaders do not have clear objectives:

By establishing clear goals, you establish a purpose and sense of direction. Remember the hunter’s adage: If you don’t aim at something, you won’t hit it.

3. Ineffective leaders are inconsistent:

When all is said and done by the inconsistent, more is said than done.

4. Ineffective leaders never praise good work—just condemn the wrong:

Make a point of only telling people when they do something wrong. Or, praise them in a vague way, “Well, you did the best you could--I think.”

5. Ineffective leaders do not communicate effectively:

Good communication breeds good communication. So ineffective leadership causes people to not understand you--so, they respond accordingly.

6. Ineffective leaders discourage ideas and initiative:

Innovation and creativity are essential requirements for every organization to move forward. Therefore, ineffective team leaders should look to discourage team members.

7. Ineffective leaders see any change as dangerous:

An ineffective leaders makes certain he or she is unaware of the changes in dynamics in the team and do not regard change as an opportunity to improve.

8. Ineffective leaders neglect the development of team members:

This prevents members from growth and motivation. In turn, this will also stymie and stall the team as a whole.

9. Ineffective leaders do not treat team members as individuals:

All people are alike. What works for one team member will work for all—after all, they are sheeple.

10. Ineffective leaders do not learn from experience or advice:

Change means that you were wrong—else you would not need to change.

10 Reasons Why Preahers Avoid Cultural Issues

Clash Radio ^ | 12/26/07 | Doug Giles

Doug Giles: "As far as I'm concerned, a silent or waffling pastor in today's paranormal climate is about as necessary as Rosie O'Donnell is to CPAC. I don't care how much the minister likes kitty cats, candy canes and if he cries at Celine Dion concerts. Look, voiceless vicar, if you're not currently in the big middle of this crucial cultural squabble, pointing out what's putrid and cheering on what's proper, then you're Dr. Evil in my book.

Given that this is an upcoming election year and that the culture-dividing issues are more obvious than Joan River's last lip implants, it is mind-boggling to me that many ministers are mute or side with parties, policies and principles that are antithetical to the Christian worldview. I don't know if you got this memo in seminary or not but pastors are supposed to not only salvage souls but also build the good society.

In some kind of ascending order, it seems to me there are 10 reasons why pastors avoid political and intense cultural issues and thus aid and abet evil.

1. Fear of man. If you purport to be a man of God, then your regard for God and His opinion must trump the trepidation of the creature God created from spit and mud. Come on, man of God, don't fear the crowd ... we're ants with cell phones that'll shoot Botox into our foreheads. We're weird and fickle weather vanes of what's en vogue. You've got to lead us. Therefore, go to the mountain ... get a fresh dose holy terror and move into the Moses mode and command us to be and do what is holy, just and good. The grinning mild subtle Oprah approach doesn't seem to be stemming the current flood of filth.

2. Ignorance. Most people are not bold in areas where they are ignorant . . . always excepting Britney Spears, of course. I know keeping up with all the pressing political issues is maddening, but that's life, brother; and if you want to be a voice in society and not just an echo, you have got to be in the know. Staying briefed, running each political issue through the gauntlet of Scripture and determining God's mind on a certain subject are par for the course for the hardy world changer.

3. Division. Y'know, I hate the current non-essential divisions in the church as much as the next acerbic Christian columnist. Squabbling over the color of the carpet, who'll play the organ next Sunday or who is the Beast of Revelation, is stupidity squared. Hey, divisive Christian rebel without a clue-get a life, por favor! Or become a Satanist and go screw up their church. Do something other than make mountains out of your little molehill. That being said, there's a time and place for a biblical throw-down and an ecclesiastical split from political policies and parties.

For a minister to seek unity with secularists when they are trashing and rewriting scripture with impunity is to side with vice and to allow darkness to succeed. On these kinds of issues, the minister cannot group hug or sing a James Blunt song to the secularist or the apostate Christian.

4. Last Days Madness. Many ministers do not get involved in political issues because they believe that "it simply doesn't matter" since "the end has come," and Jehovah is about to run the credits on this failed earth flick. These defeatists believe that any change in the jet stream, war, earthquakes, a warming globe, the success of a corrupt politician-even a new Shakira video-are "proof" that God is getting really, really ticked off, and that His only recourse is to have Christ physically return and kick some major butt.

They see the church and themselves as impotent and having no real ability to change things culturally with any long range ramifications. Thus, any stab at a better tomorrow is simply an exercise in futility for this rapture crew. Attempting to right culture is, in their eyes, equivalent to polishing brass on a sinking ship; therefore, they are content to simply pass out tracts, tramp from Christian rock concert to Christian rock concert, eat fatty foods and stare at Christian TV.

5. Sloth. Classically defined, sloth is lethargy stemming from a sense of hopelessness. Viewing our nation and the world as an irreparable disaster, where our exhortations, prayers, votes and labors will not produce any temporal fruit, leaves one with all the fervor of a normal guy who's forced to kiss his sister.

If you're wondering why your flock is so apathetic, Pastor Eeyore, ask yourself if you have stolen their earthly hope that their valiant efforts can actually prevail in time, and not just in eternity. If you constantly pump the doom and gloom message, if you teach them that evil will ultimately triumph on our terra firma, if you spew messages that consciously or unconsciously convey "big devil" and "little God," then you have effectively zapped what's left of your parishioners' passion.

6. They don't want to lose their Tax Exempt status. Many pastors, priests and parishioners have been cowed into inactivity by the threatened loss of their tax-exempt status if they say anything remotely political. This can make pastors who don't, or won't, get good legal advice about as politically active as Howard Hughes was during the flu season.

The church may, among other things, register their members to vote, pass out voter guides, invite all candidates in a race to speak (even if only one of them shows up) and speak directly about specific issues.

Off the clock, in his personal capacity, the minister can endorse and support (or oppose) whomever or whatever he wishes-like any other citizen. There are no limitations to the individual; the ones that do exist under the 501(c)(3) statute are only for the church entity and/or the pastor in his official capacity, not for the pastor or the members who make up the church.

7. They bathe in paltry pietism. Pastors avoid politics because such concerns are "unspiritual," and their focus is on the "spirit world." Yes, to such imbalanced ministers, political affairs are seen as "temporal and carnal," and since they trade in the "eternal and spiritual," such "worldly" issues get nada.

This bunch is primarily into heavenly emotions and personal Bible study, and they stay safely tucked away from society and its complicated issues. How sweet. They forget that they are commanded to be seriously engaged with our culture and or fall into the worthless category Christ warned them of (Mt.5.13). Snap.

8. They have bought into the Taliban comparison. Pastors have muffled their political/ cultural voices because they fear being lumped in with Islam by the politically correct thought police. The correlation made between Christians' non-violent attempts at policy persuasion and the Taliban's kill-you-in-your-sleep campaigns is nothing more than pure, uncut crapola.

Ministers, please blow off the tongue-wagging blowhards who try to intimidate you into silence by making quantum, ludicrous, scat-laden and analogous leaps in equating the implementation of a gracious, Biblical worldview with the Islam-o-fascists cross-eyed dream.

9. They can't say, "No" to minutiae. Some ministers can't get involved in studying or speaking out regarding pressing issues simply because of the ten tons of junk they are forced to field within their congregations. Spending time wet nursing 30-year-olds without a life and being bogged down in committee meetings over which shade of pink paint should be used for the women's ministerial wing of their church, ministers are lucky if they get to study the Bible nowadays-much less anything else.

This is the fault of both the ministers with their messiah complexes and the congregants with their me-monkey syndromes, and they must all have their foreheads thumped if the church is going to tackle cultural issues.

10. They likey the money. The creepy thing about a lot of ministers is their unwillingness to give political or cultural offense when offense is needed, simply because taking a biblical stand on a political issue might cost them their mega-church, which means their seven homes, their Bentley and their private jet. Oh well, what do you expect? Christ had His Judas, and evangelicalism has it money loving hookers.

If the ministers within the good old US of A would crucify their fear of man, get solidly briefed regarding the chief political issues, not sweat necessary division, not get caught up in last days madness, maintain their hope for tomorrow, understand their liberties under God and our Constitution, not become so heavenly minded that they're no earthly good, focus on the majors and blow off bowing to cash instead of convictions, then maybe . . . just maybe . . . we will see their righteous influence cause our nation to take the needed sharp turn away from the secularist progressives' speedily approaching putrid pit."

The Christmas Invitation

(Luke 2:7)

It was the biggest event of the year in the little town of Cornwall – the annual Christmas pageant, starring many of the people of the town. When it came time for casting the various parts, every parent wanted their son or daughter to be included. On audition day, it didn’t take long to match every part with just the right person. But then there was Harold. The little guy really wanted a part. But because of his suffering with Down’s Syndrome, the directors kept passing him over. But Harold just kept popping up again, asking for a part. Finally, the directors gave in and gave him what they judged to be a no-risk part – the innkeeper who comes to the door and tells Mary and Joseph the inn is full. It was a part with only one simple line. Little did they know that the stage had been set for the most memorable Christmas pageant they had ever seen.

The night of the pageant, you had to get there early just to get a seat. Backstage, the shepherds were putting on their bathrobes, the angels were adjusting their haloes, and everyone was reviewing their lines. The directors were going over Harold’s line with him one more time – “Remember, Harold – ‘I’m sorry, we have no room.’” Slowly, but surely, Harold repeated his line.

The men of the church had built a set that portrayed Bethlehem in the background, a manger on the right, and the inn on the left. As Act One neared its end, a weary Mary and Joseph trudged up to the inn door, desperately looking for shelter. Joseph knocked on the inn door. Nothing happened. Backstage the front rows could hear the director whispering, “Now, Harold!” The set began to shake as Harold struggled to get the inn door open. Then, standing there in his bathrobe, Harold listened as Joseph begged for a room for his pregnant wife.

Harold said nothing. Again, the backstage whisper - “I’m sorry, we have no room.” Another long pause. Finally, Harold struggled through his line – “I’m sorry . . . we have no room.” Then he slowly closed the door. It was as Mary and Joseph began to turn away that totally unforgettable moment came – the one no one would ever forget. Suddenly, the set started to shake again as Harold again struggled to get the door open. Before the stunned director could get to him, Harold opened the door and ran after the departing Mary and Joseph. And loud enough for people in the basement to hear, Harold shouted - “Wait! Wait! You can stay in MY room!”

Little Harold understood exactly what Christmas really means. Luke 2:7, our word for today from the Word of God, says, “There was no room for them in the inn.” But Harold understood that when the Son of God is at your door, you have to make room for Him. Which is something you may have never done. You’ve done Christian things, gone to Christian meetings, believed Christian beliefs, developed a Christian image – but you’ve never really opened the door of your heart to the Savior who died for you. Why not make room for Him today? John 1:11

MARRIAGE/DIVORCE/REMARRIAGE

Recently, a fellow pastor told me that he had asked four other pastors what their position was on this topic. He said that he received as many different answers. Now, including his own, he knows five positions!

Why is there such a divergence of opinion on this subject in our Fundamental circles? How is it that we can come to a consensus on so many other topics and yet can be worlds apart on this one?

In part, it is because this topic has been dealt with in the most cursory manner by most books and commentaries. Even Bible schools and Seminaries avoid dealing with the topic. The solidly Fundamental school that I attended gave me a single page handout describing the DIVERSE opinions of leading Fundamentalists on this topic. There was NO consensus among their opinions. Also, for most preachers, it is a taboo subject. How many messages have you heard on the subject? Those who have attempted to deal with it are looked at askance. Questions arise about any preacher who addresses the issue in any manner less than in the condemnation mode. Questions arise in the hearer's mind: "Is he divorced? Is he planning to be divorced? Is he liberal, or just a compromiser?"

If you have already made up your mind on the topic of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage, then stop reading now. However, if you are willing to read and consider this information, then I would appreciate your comments and criticisms.

POSITION

Please read Gen.1:26-31; 2:18-25; Ex.20:14, Deut.24:1-2; Ezra 10:9-14; Jer.3:1-9,14, Mal.2:13-16, Matt.5:31,32; 19:3-12; I Cor.7:1-28. PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED UNTIL YOU HAVE READ THESE VERSES.

MARRIAGE:

1. is the first Divinely ordained institution. (Gen.2:18-25)

The home predates the chronological revelation of the other two Divine institutions: Government and the Church.

2. is to be a monogamous relationship. (Gen.2:24)

Multiple spouses (polyandry or polygyny) and multiple marriages (polygamy) are not according to God's Will. His perfect will is ONE man and ONE woman for ONE life time. One MAN and one WOMAN are to LEAVE their individual homes, CLEAVE to one another to make a new one, and WEAVE a life together.

3. is covenant based on love and respect that joins (Gen.2:24-25) a man and woman in a holy relationship (Prov.2:17)

4. is Scripturally, legally, and morally binding for life and not to be put asunder by man or woman. (Matt.19:6)

5. is for the purpose of loving companionship and sexual intimacy. (Hebrews 13:4)

6. is for the purpose of child rearing. (Gen.1:28)

7. is to conform to the model of Christ and His Church. (Eph.5:22-33)

DIVORCE:

1. always stems from some sin and is therefore hated by God. (Mal.2:16)

2. is not sinful for the innocent spouse. (Matt.1:19)

Re: Jer.3:8, I Cor.7:27,28, Matt.19:9 (cf."except"), Ezra 10

3. is never necessary between believers. (Eph.4:32)

"Hardness of heart" (Mt.19) may refer to the inability of the wronged spouse to forgive the unfaithful spouse.

4. is not necessary when a spouse dies (Death). (Rom.7:1-6)

5. is permitted on the grounds of fornication (Dirt). (Matt.19:9)

Christ explains that the "uncleanness" of Deut.24:1-4 is fornication- the only cause that allows for divorce and remarriage. This agreed with the school of Rabbi Shammai. It is opposed to the interpretation of Rabbi Hillel. This school taught it meant that divorce could be granted "for any cause."

6. is permitted if an unbeliever Deserts a believer. (Desertion) I Cor.7:15

DEATH, DIRT, AND DESERTION BREAK MARRIAGE!

7. is forgivable even when sinful. (I John 1:9) However, Gal.6:17 still applies- you reap what you sow!

REMARRIAGE:

1. is forbidden to a believer who deserts an unbeliever. (I Cor.7:11)

2. is possible for a Scripturally divorced person. (I Cor.7:27,28)

Divorce AND remarriage were included in Christ's answer and the exceptive clause" of Matt.19:9.

3. is "better" for others who cannot remain celibate. (I Cor.7:9 )

4. is authorized for the one who receives a bill of divorcement . (Read Deut.24:1-4)

5. is recommended only when both partners are prepared for the commitment of marriage. (Luke 14:28-30 )

6. is possible ONLY when all Biblical requirements have been met. (Matt.5:31,32 )

7. is accompanied by special challenges (trouble) for widows and widowers, but especially for the divorced, former spouses,

custody of children, child support and allimony, etc... I Cor.7:28

I will make no conclusion or application. That is for you to do--in accordance with God's Word .

For a more detailed explanation of this topic please check out http://www.inkweb.com/divorce

The Poor Wise Man

The Poor Wise Man

Pastor Terry Hagedorn

Calvary Baptist Church

Reedsville, WV

There was another wise man. There were not just three wise men! Tradition says that there were three because the wise men brought three kinds of gifts: gold, frankincense and myrrh. (Gold speaks of His Deity—His Royalty, Frankincense speaks of His Priesthood; and, Myrrh speaks of His suffering as a Prophet. Combined they remind us the Person of the Messiah—Christ and His glory.

The other wise man is usually forgotten at Christmas. In fact, he is almost always forgotten. However, He brought salvation through wisdom--not gold, silver or precious spice. He reminds us of the Work of Christ—salvation.

We read about him in the Old Testament! Ecclesiastes 9:14-18 There was a little city, and few men within it; and there came a great king against it, and besieged it, and built great bulwarks against it: 15 Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city; yet no man remembered that same poor man. 16 Then said I, Wisdom is better than strength: nevertheless the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his words are not heard. 17 The words of wise men are heard in quiet more than the cry of him that ruleth among fools. 18 Wisdom is better than weapons of war: but one sinner destroyeth much good.

This passage simply teaches that wisdom (Spiritual wisdom) is better than strength (the flesh); and, spiritual truth and spiritual things are never appreciated--or even remembered—as they should be.

It is not too much of a stretch to see, first of all, the Christmas message in this passage: It speaks of a little CITY— There was a little city, and few men within it.. Isn’t this a picture of the Earth? The Psalmist recognized the littleness of the Earth and her inhabitants: Psalm 8:3-4 When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; 4 What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? Amazing Grace is amazing not only for what He has done—but, for whom he did it! It should humble us to remember that “God so loved the world” that He offered His Son for US!

It speaks of SATAN—the Adversarial king: And there came a great king against it, and besieged it, and built great bulwarks against it. Satan used the bulwarks of deception, defeat and death to try and destroy this little city! And, no one cared—but God!

Thirdly, it speaks of the SAVIOR: Now there was found in it a poor wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. This verse speaks of the Person and the Work of the fourth Wise Man. He was poor. He was wise—Wisdom incarnate. And, He was a

man.

He was poor: II Corinthians 8:9, For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich. He was rich? When? Isn’t this verse a proof text for the Deity of Christ? He was rich as the preincarnate Son of God. As the Son of Man, he was poor: Mat 8:20 And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.

He was wise—Wisdom incarnate! 1Corinthians 1:23-24: But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; 24 But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God.

He is a man—He was as much God, as if He was not man: and, He was as much man, as if He was not God! 1Timothy 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. This wise man did not come from the east. He came from the north—the sides of the north: the Throne of God!

He by his wisdom delivered the city. In the wisdom of God, God became a man. He lived a sinless life. And then, I Corinthians 15:3,4 Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.

God in His wisdom sent Christ to pay a debt He did not owe—because we had a debt we could not pay! God died for the ungodly.

Sadly, the reaction to his wisdom and deliverance is the same response we see today: yet no man remembered that same poor man. v.15b.

Will you remember Him this year? Will your Christmas honor the wisdom of God in sending His Son to die for us? Will there be room for the poor wise man in your home this Christmas—and throughout the New Year?

Pastor Terry Hagedorn
Calvary Baptist Church
Reedsville, WV 26547
304-864-3870
http://www.calvarybaptistchurchwv.com
"Pointing Mountaineers to Mount Calvary"

Click photo to view larger image.

Should Christians support Mitt Mormony?

Should Christians support Mitt Mormony?

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From a Boston Globe article:

Quote:

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney has stepped up his efforts to woo evangelicals in response to the threat by some Christian conservative leaders to back a third-party candidate. The third-party threat grew yesterday after a key evangelical leader, James Dobson, said that he and other social conservatives had agreed to support a "minor party" candidate if the Republicans choose a presidential nominee who is not conservative enough. Dobson's statement is viewed as significant in the Romney campaign because Dobson has ruled out supporting GOP candidates John McCain, Rudy Giuliani, and Fred Thompson, but has left open the possibility of supporting Romney. "Dr. Dobson is keeping an open mind on Mitt Romney, and I think that is because they do share in common so many values," Romney spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom said yesterday. Dobson, the leader of the high-profile Focus on the Family, whose radio program has 1.5 million listeners, did not respond to a request for comment yesterday.

We should support Romney because of his vacillating positions on abortion and same-sex marriage--and forget about the demonic and damnable heresy of the Mormon doctrine? I don't think so!

CHURCHGATE

--Church member plans to call for Special Prosecutor

and possible Impeachment Proceedings against Pastor--

Pastor Terry Hagedorn, Calvary Baptist Church, Reedsville, WV

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times--the way it always is! Everything had been going really well. This, of course, concerned the pastor. (Pastor, beware!--when the tragedy of things going well befalls you. Problems are just around the corner!)

All the trouble started when the pastor asked if there was any new business at the church's monthly business meeting. Well, everyone knew that something was bothering brother Aristotle "Ari" Gannt. (That's not his real name. Although, it should be.)

First of all, he had worn his "Philadelphia Lawyer three-piece suit". Ari always wore that suit at funerals or business meetings--where he would make everyone feel worse than if it had been a funeral. When he wore that suit, he imagined himself in a Jimmy Stewart movie--"Mr. Smith Goes to Churchington"--or something. Evidently, he imagined that if he could just give an impassioned speech, while clutching the lapels of his suit coat, condemning all that he perceived as abuses--that he could single-handedly rescue the church from some impending doom or save the church a little money. Usually, it was the latter--a very little of the latter. A very little of the latter that was not worth the big bother to anyone--except brother Gannt.

Secondly, he had been sitting there fuming through the whole service. It distracted everyone around him. He was folding and unfolding a paper that he would--intermittently--roll up and stick in his inside coat pocket, pull it out and read again, and then fold and unfold it again. (He was as nervous as I was when I preached my first sermon--in front of real people. I had an eight page outline, twenty-three illustrations, told my testimony of salvation and call to the ministry, AND it was all over in eight minutes. The longest eight minutes of my life! Fortunately, I don't think that anyone was paying any attention to me.)

That was not the case with Ari. As soon as the pastor asked for new business, Jimmy Stewart--I mean Ari Gannt--stood up and motioned in the affirmative with his hand and moved to the aisle for maximum dramatic effect. "W...w..well, yes! As a matter of fact, p..p..pastor, I do have something that I would like to ask you, the deacons, and the trustees of this church--those whom we AND the Lord have entrusted with the efficient operation of our church."

He turned to address the main part of the church audience. He stared off into space and said in a perfect Jimmy Stewartesque voice and mannerism, "M...m...may I ask you? W...w..why do we have a budget? If we aren't going to stick to it!? You and I--Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe--have to stick to a budget. Don't we?"

He pointed to a widow woman, "M..m..mrs. Hubbard, do you have to stick to a budget?" Old mother Hubbard reluctantly nodded her head in the affirmative. She was embarrassed. But, everyone knew that you had better humor Ari Gannt. Or, he would just keep asking, "W..well, do you?"--until you did answer.

"That's right! It the same for me and you and you and you," he said as he pointed at various other "yous" in the flock.

"Now--here in the budget," he pointed at a copy of this year's budget--marked with red and yellow highlight markers--which he had in his hand, "it says that x-number of dollars is to be set aside for a certain thing. When I, we--as a church, or as the great nation that we live in, violate our budgets, then we are just asking for financial failure. Either we learn to live within our means or we die!" Ari clutched his heart and looked down in despair.

"Point of order!," someone shouted from the back of the auditorium. The voice sounded somehow like pastor's wife's voice. "Where is she?", pastor thought to himself.

Whoever said them, those Parliamentarian words shot Ari through the heart. He looked shocked and wounded.

An equally startled pastor asked, "What is your point of order?"

"Would you ask Ari to get to the point? It's gettin' late!," the voice shouted. His point was seconded by numerous nods of agreement and a bevy of hearty, "Amens!"

Pastor didn't have to ask. Ari had recovered his composure, "Okay. Okay! If that's all that this matters to you--I will get to the point."

"I have been doing a little research--a little investigation into the day-to-day operation of our church. Do you know how much this church spends on toilet paper every month?," he asked as he lowered his glasses to the to the tip of his nose and looked at some notes on his paper. Thankfully, he didn't go into his, "W..w..well do you?"-mode. Everyone was embarrassed by the topic. That was exactly why Ari had chosen the topic. "It makes folks think!," he thought.

"Exactly--on average--twenty-three dollars and fifty-seven cents a month!," he reported. He waited for a reaction. There was none. That's the worst reaction to have when it comes to Ari Gannt.

"W..w..well, I found that if we used coupons and shopped where stores had specials we could save money. I could get the same toilet paper for--$19.99!," he reported.

"N..n..now, three dollars and fifty-eight cents might not be a lot of money to some people," he said as he glanced in the pastor's general direction, "but I remember when..."

People actually began to moan as they realized that this could take hours. Ari was starting his "I remember when..."-routine.

Again the sanctity of the moment was disrupted from the back of the auditorium when someone yelled in rapid succession, "I move that we leave things as they are!"

"I second it!", the same voice yelled, 'all those in favor say, 'Aye'!"

"Aye!", the people responded.

"I move we get out of here...I second it!", the same voice stated.

"All those in favor say, 'Aye!'," the same voice said.

"Aye!", the people quietly responded, jumped up, put their coats on, picked up their belongings, and filed out of the church--vacating the premises like it was a fire drill!

Ari Gannt--was for once in his life--speechless! Pastor, looked down from the pulpit and gave him the shrug with the palms up at his side expression, "What can I do?" He picked up his Bible and notes, then as he left the platform he said, "Ari, thanks for pointing out the toilet paper problem, I promise that I will look into making certain that we are getting the best deal possible--with the Lord's money."

That made Ari's day! The people might have walked out, BUT--at least--he got his point across to the pastor! He would live to fight again. There was always next month's business meeting.

How I Was Almost Killed By A Pew

How I Was Almost Killed By A Pew

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Terry Hagedorn

Every church must raise funds from time to time for special projects. There is nothing inherently wrong with that activity. However, that activity is fraught with dangers. Remember how that Paul gave the most stringent instructions concerning the handling of collections and special love offerings. (I Cor. 16:1-4,11 Cor. 8) So, even Paul, had to raise funds. We all have to raise funds for special projects. It seems to be part and parcel of the ministry. One well known pastor says that when he dies that his epitaph will probably read, "And.. .the beggar died" (Luke 16:22).

It has been my experience that we are most likely to lean toward the flesh—no matter how spiritual we think we are—when it comes to money. We all need to remember that anything we accomplish with the help of the arm of the flesh, can never be the blessing it would be if we were to allow the Lord to do the work.

In 1993, lifting a pew gave me an epigastric hernia (that’s above the navel). I had to have surgery to correct it. I was almost killed by a pew! Yes, a strangulated bowel can be fatal. What’s worse is that the surgical cure can also kill you—just ask the anesthesiologist. Just before the surgery he cheers you up and says, "You might bleed to death, you might have a stroke, you might get gangrene, you might never wake up, you might have a heart attack, we might accidentally take something out that we shouldn’t, etc. ..here sign this so we can get started." AND, YOU’RE ACTUALLY CRAZY ENOUGH TO SIGN IT!

How did I ever get into that mess?

The same way a lot of my fellow preachers get into messes. The curse of fund raising! When we moved into our new building in 1985, we could not afford to buy new pews. So, we brought the old pews from our old building. Although these pews had a certain class about them, there is nothing so depressing as old pews in a brand new auditorium. It’s like buying a new car with seats from a junked car in it. These pews were not junk. They were solid one inch oak. The seat, back, and end pieces were made of single boards! They were beautiful and heavy. There were twenty-one pews: there were seven ten footers and fourteen five footers. The ten footers weighed in excess of two hundred and fifty pounds—just enough to give you a hernia—give or take a pound or two.

As beautiful as the pews were, they were a torture rack to sit on. The back was straight. This means that unless you sat as straight backed as a debutante at her coming out party—or Frankenstein at the blind man’s house— your back was going to hurt. Secondly, the seat edge cut into the back of one’s legs. Folks complained about their legs going to sleep. It was so embarrassing. When some people got up, they were not aware that their legs had fallen asleep, and they would crumple to the ground like they were "slain in the spirit". A good Baptist cannot tolerate that! And, the constant whining about "how much better it would be if we just had new pews" can make an otherwise good pastor do some dumb carnal things.

When you’re given into carnality and when you don’t trust the Lord to give you new pews through more spiritual means, then you must connive some method to procure them for yourself. Well, this dastardly plot usually involves a holy promotion (a gimmick), a hefty thermometer and a hard-sell. Two of those things are carnal. Permit me to explain. The gimmick was this: First, determine how many new pews you’ll need. Twenty-two twelve footers? They will cost $427 a piece. That is $9,394 Right? Okay, then divide the number of old pews into that amount. Since that is more toes and fingers than everybody in the church has—just round it off to $400. Now, here is the promotion: everyone who donates $400 gets one of the old pews! ‘Which church members must arrange for a truck to pick up by themselves the day before the new pews come." Do not offer to deliver.

No doubt you are asking, ‘$400 a piece. ..but...but. some of them are five footers and some are ten footers.. .how can they all be worth $400? Some of them are in better condition than others—how can you be fair?" Calm down. Where there is a will of the flesh—there is a way of the flesh! I will explain all this a little later. The thermometer is usually made on a big white poster board. In this case, there are twenty-two gradations—each marking a $400 increment. The bulb of the thermometer is filled with that amount of money that you couldn’t ‘cipher (the remainder from $9,394 divided by 21 old pews @$400/piece). You must get one of the men, who can figure that amount out, to make a motion in the next business meeting "to retroactively place (that amount) into the Pew Fund—as reflected by the Big Pew Thermometer hanging in the back."

Be prepared for possible trouble from the floor. If no one else shows up for a business meeting, you can always count on a parliamentarian, prude, and a peacock to be there! Sometimes they are the same person (an unholy trinity— of sorts). They or he/she are convinced that it is their calling to question everything—every single thing you do. So they question the ethics, fiscal wisdom, legality and constitutionality of that move. Picky! Picky! Picky! Don’t those folks understand that even sound and wise arguments are of no value to a man or church possessed with a "project". Besides that, we’ve already got the big thermometer made! It is do or die! It’s the principle of the thing! It’s the NEW pews—and how good that they’ll make "our church" look. Don’t worry. Just ride out reasoning—wise and otherwise! Threaten to quit—if you have to!—but stand your ground.

You ask, "How will it be fair to give one person a five foot pew and another a ten foot pew for the same $400 ‘gift’?" Easy! You "cast lots" claiming Acts 1:26 as your authority. You just number the pews one to twenty-two. You put slips of paper numbered one to twenty-two in the offering plate and let everyone draw the number of their pew! Isn’t that simple?

Now, to get off to a good start on the Pew Drive: 1. PRIME THE PUMP. 2.USE A HARD-SELL.

Pastor, you should give the first check on the first Sunday of the big Pew Fund Drive. Do it with no small fanfare. Make certain that everyone sees you place that first check into the collection. Make some remark about, "If my wife and I can do this...." Then use the hard-sell. Brow beat the deacon(s), trustees, teachers, nursery workers, your children, etc. to do the same—and you’re half-way home. (Guilt is such a powerful force for getting things done— especially for raising money. Just look at the TV evangelists. Don’t use, "If I don’t get this money—God is going to call me home!" That’s already been used. It works but it will ruin your ministry. You need to be original with your gimmick.)

Well, it may not be pretty but it works. We were able to raise the funds in four months time. Consequently, I became the proud owner of a ten foot long pew However, I had nowhere in my house for the same. So, I put it in the workshop area of my barn— "Where there is plenty of room," I assured my wife. However there must be some unwritten law of physics that states something like, "A pew’s area is equal to the biggest nuisance squared." Somehow that pew was where it would always be in the way. It was a curse. It became a clutter collector. Worse yet, it would attack me! Whenever I walked past it—especially if I was carrying something large and cumbersome—it would jump out in front of me and hit me in the shin! Well, one day it attacked me— one time too many! This was getting personal. It was either that pew or me. One of us had to go! This town—this barn, at least—was too small for the both of us!

It repented me that I had ever "earned" the pew. What was I to do? "I know!", I thought to myself, "I’ll put it in the loft of the barn!" Isn’t it funny how the stupidest idea always seems like such a good idea—at first?

The pew was solid one inch oak. It seemed like it weighed a ton. The pew had to go up through a three foot by three foot access to get it into the loft. The pew was thirty six inches high; however, by carefully twisting and turning the pew, I felt that I could easily work the pew into the loft through the square opening. Isn’t it funny how the stupidest idea always seems like such a good idea—at first?

I stood the pew on end, climbed into the loft and reached down to start pulling up the pew. I had to reach so far down that I almost fell through! I barely caught myself. My life past before my eyes—it stopped with a newspaper headline, "Pastor Killed By Pew".

Finally, I grasped it. I did a "clean and jerk" to my feet. (I think weight lifters call it a "clean and jerk"—l don’t know why because there was nothing clean about it.) Then my foot went through the rotten floorboards of the hayloft. Dust flew everywhere. I was gagging and choking. I fell to my one knee with my other leg protruding through the ceiling of the workshop area of the barn—a kind of "a dirty and jerk". (I think that I heard the pew snicker.) Somehow, I got back up. I got the pew in a bear hug hold and started to shimmy it up into the loft. Some things can be shimmied—some can’t. A pew can’t.

I was so involved in shimmying that I forgot about the middle leg. The middle leg got stuck on the access panel opening. It was really stuck. I just thought that it had gotten heavier— or, I had gotten weaker.

"I just need a little more oomph," I thought. Well, I now know what happens when the irresistible force meets the immovable object: you get a hernia. If you’re fortunate, it is, "Hey! I just popped the snap on my britches." If you are being chastised by the Lord, then you just "popped" an epigastric hernia—above the navel.

The corrective surgery hurts more than all the pews in the world are worth! Believe me. Do what you will; however, my pew fund raising days are over!

The next time I have to raise money, I am going to do things differently. I might use a thermometer, however, I promise that I will never use another gimmick. I will never hard-sell anything ever again. If the Lord’s in it—then the funds will come in without using the world’s tactics. AND, if the Lord’s not in—then you don’t want a pew for a prize. BELIEVE ME! I WAS ALMOST KILLED BY A PEW!

TULIP vs FERNS

TULIP vs FERNS

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In 1610, just one year after the death of James Arminius (a Dutch seminary professor) five articles of faith based on his teachings were drawn up by his followers as a "Remonstrance" (i.e., a protest) to the teachings of John Calvin (1509-1564). A national synod was called to meet in Dort, Holland in 1618 for the purpose of examining the views of Arminius in the light of Scripture. The Dutch Calvinists set forth their defense in five chapters which have ever since been known as the 'the five points of Calvinism'- the T-U-L-I-P. I have set forth the 'five points of Arminianism', which I called F-E-R-N-S (please pardon the pun), in contrast to the TULIP:

ARMINIUS' F-E-R-N-S
1. FREE WILL
Although human nature was seriously affected by the fall, man has not been left in a state of total spiritual helplessness. God graciously enables every sinner to repent and believe, but He does it in such a manner as not to interfere with man's freedom. Each sinner possesses a free will, and his eternal destiny depends on how he uses it. He does not need to be regenerated by the Spirit before he can believe, for faith is man's act and precedes the new birth. Faith is the sinner's gift to God, it is man's contribution to salvation.

2. ELECTION: CONDITIONAL
God's choice of certain individuals unto salvation before the foundation of the world was based upon His foreseeing that they would respond to his call. He selected only those whom He knew would of themselves freely believe the Gospel. Thus the sinner's choice of Christ, not God's choice of the sinner, is the ultimate cause of salvation.

3. REDEMPTION: UNIVERSAL
Christ's redeeming work made it possible for everyone to be saved but did not actually secure the salvation of anyone. Although Christ died for all men and for every man, only those who believe in Him are saved. Christ's redemption becomes effective only if man chooses to accept it.

4. NEGATING THE HOLY SPIRIT'S CALL (RESISTING GRACE)
The Spirit calls inwardly all those who are called outwardly by the Gospel invitation; He does all that He can to bring every sinner to salvation. But inasmuch as man is free, he can resist the Spirit's call. The Holy Spirit can only draw to Christ those who allow Him to have His way with them.

5. SALVATION CAN BE LOST: FALLING FROM GRACE
Those who believe and are truly saved can lose their salvation. Since salvation is accomplished through the combined efforts of God (who takes the initiative) and man (who must respond)- man's response being the determining factor, salvation is enforce and effectual only for those who, of their own free will "choose" to cooperate with Him in salvation. Hence, one can be lost and saved numerous times.

CALVIN'S T-U-L-I-P
1. TOTAL DEPRAVITY
Because of the fall, man is unable of himself to savingly believe the Gospel. The sinner is dead, blind, and deaf to the things of God; his heart is desperately wicked. His will is not free, it is in bondage to his evil, Adamic nature, therefore, he will not- indeed he cannot- choose the Gospel. Consequently, it takes much more than the Spirit's assistance to bring a sinner to Christ- it takes regeneration by which the Spirit makes the sinner alive and gives him a new nature. One is not regenerated because of faith. Rather, one has faith because one has been regenerated.

2. UNCONDITIONAL ELECTION
God's choice of certain individuals unto salvation before the foundation of the world rested solely in His sovereign will. His choice of particular sinners was not based on any foreseen response or obedience on their part, such as faith, repentance, etc. God's choice of the sinner, not the sinner's choice of Christ is the determining cause of salvation.

3. LIMITED ATONEMENT
Christ's redeeming work was intended to save the elect only and actually secured salvation for them alone. In addition to putting away the sins of His people, His death secured everything necessary for their salvation. The gift of faith is infallibly applied by the Spirit only to all for whom Christ died.

4. IRRESISTIBLE GRACE
In addition to the outward general call to salvation which is made to everyone who hears the Gospel, the Holy Spirit extends to the elect a special inward call that inevitably brings them to salvation. The external call can be rejected by all (even by the elect for a while). Whereas the internal call cannot be rejected by the elect. God is sovereign. He cannot be resisted by man.

5. PERSEVERANCE OF THE SAINTS
All who were chosen by God, redeemed by Christ, and given faith by the Spirit are eternally saved. They are kept in faith by the power of Almighty God, and thus persevere to the end. Salvation is accomplished by the almighty power of the Triune God. The entire process (election, redemption, faith, regeneration) is the work of God and is by grace alone. Thus God, not man, determines who will be the recipients of salvation.

MR. TULIP and MR. FERN, HERE'S THE TRUTH
The TRUTH is: that salvation is all of Grace- from beginning to end (Eph.2:8,9); that the Elect are the 'WHOSOEVER wills' of John 3:16; that the Blood of Jesus Christ is sufficient for ALL-- efficient for those who believe (He died for ALL. I John 2:2); that the Lord has willed that man can will to not obey God's Sovereign Will (Matt.23:37); and, that we are kept by the power of God unto salvation (I Peter 1:5). The Bible teaches "CAL-MINIANISM"!

Now the question is do you believe John Calvin or James Arminius or THE TRUTH OF GOD'S WORD?

http://gospelpedlar.com/articles/Ch.../calvinism.html

FLIES IN THE OINTMENT

FLIES IN THE OINTMENT

"Dead flies make the ointment of the apothecary to send forth a stinking savour." Ecclessiates 10:1

Ointment was a necessary luxury in Bible times. The anointing of the hair, face, and exposed skin was an important act of hygiene and grooming in the arid regions of the Holy Land. (II Sam. 12:20)

The ointment was made by an apothecary (chemist/perfumer). He ususally created the lotion by skillfully mixing precious spices and scents into an olive oil base.

The luscious odor from an open container of the ointment's spices and olive oil naturally attracted pesky flies. The unwitting flies became entrapped in the miry substance. They corrupted the ointment by their presence--causing the ointment to spoil and stink.

There are many practical lessons for us in this passage. The apothecary is the Lord. The olive oil is the Holy Spirit. The spice is the Christian's life. And, the sweet smelling savour (aroma) is the testimony produced by the Holy Spirit's work in and through the Christian's life (Philippians 4:18). Finally, the flies are the sins in the believer's life that spoil his testimony for the Lord. Notice the flies listed in Ecclesiastes chapter ten that preachers must avoid:


1. Uncontrolled emotions. Verse two states, "A wise man's heart is at his right hand, but a fool's heart is at his left."

The heart speaks of the center of emotion. The right hand speaks of power or control. Obviously, the lesson is that a person who cannot control his or her emotions (love, hate, anger, fear, joy, sadness, etc...) has a poor testimony. This is a rotten fly in many preacher's ointment, isn't it? Many preachers ruin their ministries with this rotten fly in the ointment.


2. Hypocrisy. Verse three says, "Yea also, when he that is a fool walketh by the way, his wisdom faileth him, and he saith to every one that he is a fool."

People who are inconsistent in their testimony are hypocrites. The way they act is affected by the company they keep. In church they act like a Christian. On the job they act like the world. I was witnessing to a man. He told me that he worked at a certain factory. I said, "Oh, then you must know Mr. So-and-so. He's a deacon at a (certain) church." When he heard that, he started to laugh. I asked why he was laughing. He said, "If he's a deacon, then I'm the Pope! Man, that guy has the foulest mouth in the factory."

People, who are hypocritical in their Christian life, have a fly in the ointment. It causes their testimony to stink.


3. Contempt for authority. Verse four warns, "If the spirit of the ruler rise up against thee, leave not thy place; for yielding pacifieth great offences."

The word "yielding" literally means "to heal". One can heal a situation by submitting or yielding to authority. Too many preachers get a "big head". They become an authority unto themselves. Friend, listen to the word of experience: Come down off of that high horse before God knocks you down.

Christians, who do not properly respect Divinely appointed authorities: government officials and law officers, spiritual leaders, or parents, are bad testimonies for the Lord. We are to conscientiously obey the higher powers. (Romans 13:1-5) We are to obey spiritual leaders. (Hebrews 13:17) Finally, we are to obey and honor our parents. (Col. 3:20, Ex. 20:12) Above all, we are to obey God.


4. A bitter spirit. Verse eight teaches, "He that diggeth a pit shall fall into it; and whoso breaketh a hedge, a serpent shall bite him."

There's nothing wrong with digging a pit or removing brush; except, when your purpose is to harm someone else. That is implicit in this verse and the one that follows. Digging a pit for someone to fall into will result in harm to yourself. (Gal. 6:7) Verse nine talks about removing boundary stones and timber from another's property. Again, you will reap what you sow. Although only the actions are spoken of in these verses, the motive behind such diabolical activity is clear- it is a bitter and jealous spirit. Consider the example of King Ahab and Naboth. (I Kings 21)

Some preachers are the most jealous people I know. Remember that covetousness is idolatry.

How many of us, instead of loving our neighbor, hold a grudge, and plot retaliation against our neighbor for having built a wall or having planted a tree one inch too close to the property line?

Have you ever witnessed to him or her? How can you witness when your testimony is so rotten? It stinks.


5. Lack of spirituality. Verse ten declares, "If the iron be blunt, and he do not whet the edge, then must he put more strength: but wisdom is profitable to direct."

You must be sharp spiritually. We are commanded to grow in the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. (II Peter 3:18) Preacher, are you growing in the Lord? Do you whet the edge of your spiritual life? Do you read His Word, pray, witness, fellowship, and serve Him? If not, then you are dull. A dull testimony is one that cannot be a sweet smelling savour in the nostrils of God or man.


6. Evil speaking. Verse eleven says, "Surely the serpent will bite without enchantment; and a babbler is no better."

This is a large fly in the ointment. There are more sins associated with speech than any other sin listed in the Bible: lying, blasphemy, boasting, gossip, back biting, cursing, etc... James, the brother of the Lord, states, "If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man..." "perfect" means mature, of full moral and spiritual growth. A liar is at least carnal- maybe NOT even saved at all! A habitual liar has never been saved! (I John 3:9, Rev. 21:8)


How many Christians have spiritual halitosis? I've already mentioned a deacon whose testimony stunk because of lying. Have you ever been lied to by a Christian? Have you ever heard a brother or sister curse? How did it affect your opinion of him or her? If it adversely affects us, then what do you think it does to the lost? Read Eccles. 10:12-1 , and 20.


7. Slothfulness. Finally, verse eighteen tells us, "By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of hands the house droppeth through."

Laziness is a sin that ruins many preachers. King David is a tragic example of how a "man after God's own heart" can ruin his testimony. (II Samuel 11) David tarried in Jerusalem instead of going to battle. "It came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off of his bed (It's evening and he's still in bed!), and walked upon the roof of the king's house: ...and saw a woman washing herself", and the rest is a tragic story illustrating the adage- an idle mind is the Devil's workshop.

My father used to say, "Doc (his nickname for me--he thought that I, as an infant, bore a striking resemblance to one of the Seven Dwarves) you're so lazy that you stink." Well, Dad was right about two things: that I did bear a resemblance to Doc and that lazy people stink. Slothfulness will make your testimony stink!

Does your testimony send forth a sweetsmelling savour? Does it really? Maybe, you just think so!

Have you ever had a friend offer you a breath mint- at arm's length? You were embarrassed. You had not even realized that your breath smelled. Right?

If God tells you that you have an odor- don't be offended! Hey, what are friends for? Rather, thank the Lord for being a friend who will tell you the truth.

The best way to keep a sweetsmelling testimony is to keep the rotten flies out of your ointment. You can't keep flies from flying over the ointment; however, you can keep them from landing in the bowl. Keep it covered. If one gets in, then remove it immediately before it corrupts your testimony.



MY ADVICE ON PEST CONTROL:

Avoid flies--avoid temptation (I Tim.6:11). Remove the flies--if you sin, then repent and confess it immediately. (I John 1:9) Screen yourself from flies-- keep your testimony covered. (I John 1:7) Finally, use spiritual Fly Spray insect repellent--saturate yourself with the Word, "Thy Word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." (Psalm 119:11)

If you do these things, then your life will be "a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour"- well pleasing to the Lord. (Eph. 5:2)

THE CROWN OF THORNS

THE CROWN OF THORNS

Matthew 27:27 Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the common hall, and gathered unto him the whole band of soldiers. 28 And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe. 29 And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews! 30 And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head.

· Material— “the law of first mention” thorns = “sin” and “sin’s curse”

Gen 3:17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; 18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

· Mystery — “Caught in a thicket by his horns”

Gen 22:13 And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

· Mockery — “crowned” him but “mocked him”

A. They crowned Him BUT did not mean what they did

1. The soldiers dressed Jesus as a king a. The scarlet robe b. The crown of thorns c. They were only pretending—mockery

2. Many pretend that Jesus is their king a. He seems to be king at church, but not at home b. He seems to be king before believers, but not at work

3. The crown of thorns hurt Jesus, brought blood from His brow a. When we only pretend

we hurt our Lord

B. They Praised Jesus BUT did not mean what they said
1. "Hail, King of the Jews" a. These were words of praise b. But they were mocking words

2. Many say things about Jesus they do not mean a. Many songs are but lies b. Many commitments are never carried out c. Many testimonies don’t ring true

· Message — “they plaited” “”put it upon His head” Three Lessons

1. Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

2. Genesis 3:11Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

3. Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

HENNY BINN

Philippians 3:18-19, "For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things."

Charley looked normal. But, like many in that condition, he had a driver's license. AND, he used that license to satisfy his other driving passion--wrestling! He loved arena-sized studio "wrassling."

In fact, he lived and worked for Saturday nights. His whole life was wrapped up in wrestling. He knew all the different federations, leagues, organizations, and other menageries of wrestlers. He could name all the "wrasslers" and could recount most of the last hundred or so matches--in vivid detail with complete demonstrations.

He loved the screaming crowds. He loved the theatrics. He got caught up in the ecstatic shouting and senseless screaming. He loved to watch the body slams, pile-drivers, and knock outs.

He got angry--wrestling mad!--at those critics who called "wrassling" a fake and a fraud. He knew it was real. He had seen the blood. He had seen the wrestlers conked over the head with a metal folding chair. He had seen the slain--or seemingly slain--carried out by bodyguards. Charley boasted, "If it's a fraud--I'd know it! I can smell a fake a mile away!"

Evidently, he couldn't smell one any closer! This particular Saturday night, the parking lot was filled as usual, the same Saturday night crowd seemed to throng the entrances and fill the concessions area, and the same type of music blared from the arena; yet, this was not a typical Saturday night. Tonight's "Crusade" advertised on the marquee had no warriors--no "wrasslers''--that he recognized.

Nevertheless, Charley took his place--his favorite seat. He stomped. He sang, He swayed to the music. He tried to join in on what he thought was a wave or two. He was having a great time--as usual--until he noticed that there was no ring! It had taken a full fifteen minutes for Charley to realize that this wasn't canvas and that he had been snookered--in toto!

It hit him like a ton of bricks, "This was not a wrestling match and brother Henny is no wrassler!", he said. "If he is--he stinks!"

You can imagine how angry and how embarrassed Charley was when the truth finally hit him. He was absolutely flabbergasted. He felt like he had been piled on to by both sides of a tag team.

He should have known! He had wondered why he had paid so much to get in this time. Now he knew. This was studio religion--not wrestling!

He didn't know what to do. He saw an usher by the wall and made his way toward him. He wanted to demand to get his money back.

The usher saw Charley coming--in more ways than one. Charley fit the narrow criteria for being "stage-worthy", i.e. fairly dumb and healthy looking. The usher directed him to the stage--along with some of the others that had responded to brother Henny's call for those in need of a healing.

"Hey, buddy, I need some help...," is all that Charley said. That was all he needed to say.

"Please, just follow the others. Do what you're told. Brother Henny will help you," the assertive usher said.

Not everyone got sent in the same direction. The NSW's "the Non-Stage Worthy" got channeled to back rooms for a short group prayer, a quick daub of anointing oil, a little one inch square of prayer cloth--which workers pinned onto the Crusadee's lapels, a black and white 8X10 autographed picture of brother Henny, a tape of the Crusadette's music, and an escort out the back door. Charley would have probably been satisfied with that--in lieu of a complete refund. But, as fortune would have it, this fiasco was not to be that easy.

Charley was evidently so stage worthy that he got moved to the front of the line. One of the stage crew approached him and asked, "Brother, why have you come tonight?"

"I came to see the Devil Demon destroy the Dandy Deliverer!," Charley angrily shouted, "AND, I want my money--NOW!"

The shocked stage hand went to brother Henny and whispered in his ear, "Watch him. I think he's demon possessed!"

Brother Henny motioned for two assistants to bring Charley to the front of stage center. The assistants took Charley into protective custody--of sorts--and led him by each placing a hand firmly on his shoulder and grasping him by the arm with the other hand. Charley decided to go peaceably.

As Charley approached him, brother Henny started to wind up like a baseball pitcher--except he held a mike in his one hand and nothing in the other. As he wound up, Henny yelled into the mike, "Out! Out! OUT! You're gonna be out, demon!"

The crowd began to chant something. Charley didn't know what was happening.

Just as brother Henny released the invisible "ball of spirit power" right at Charley, the two stage hands pulled backward on the unsuspecting Charley. The next thing he knew he was slammed onto his back with two husky men pinning his shoulders to the stage. The crowd burst into loud applause.

Something snapped in Charley's mind. All those years of attending wrestling matches in this arena were about to pay off. Charley remembered seeing his hero, Hunk Holgren, in this very same predicament. He remembered what Hunk had done.

Without even thinking, he grabbed the two stage hands by the neck and crushed their heads together. They were out cold.

Brother Henny did not see what happened. He was recovering from the follow through on his pitch when he first saw the two assistants "slain" on the stage--lying against Charley. Brother Henny followed their lead and played along--as usual. "Oops! So sorry! I must have thrown too much--I've hit two of my helpers," he shouted to the crowd as he pointed in Charley's direction. He started to laugh! The crowd started to rant and chant.

Being laughed at was one thing that Charley could not take. Before he knew what he was doing, he lunged for Henny. He grabbed the little twerp by the scruff of the neck and the seat of his pink and white sequined suit and hoisted him above his head. Charley couldn't believe it! It was so easy! He whirled Henny around and around above his head. Before he got too dizzy, he stopped and flipped Henny upside down in front of him. He gave the head-down Henny a bear hug--crushing the air out of the charlatan's lungs. Then--just like on TV--Charley dropped to a seated position. Henny's head was "pile-driven" into the stage causing Henny to join his two assistants in assisted narcosis. Charley stood up, put his foot on Henny, and then spontaneously pounded his chest in a rage of victory.

One career ended that night--two more were born! Although Charley was arrested that night, he was later released and all charges were eventually dropped because a wise judge determined that Charley's actions were self-defense--of a sort.

The followers of brother Henny lost faith in him asking, "If he had so much power, why couldn't he beat Charley?", or, "If he was such a great healer, how's come he couldn't heal his concussion?" Seeing their healer in a neck brace and in the hospital was more than they could take.

And, Charley's prowess in the "ring" created a whole bevy of new wrestling fans that night. Most of them became lifelong fans of Charley--"The Charismatic Killer." Moreover, all the publicity that Charley got out of the "Crusade" incident earned him a place on next Saturday night's card. Charley was an instant success.

Eventually, after he had fully recovered, Henny became Charley's manager and a wrestling promoter. He had finally found his niche in entertainment. Some call him the Don King of wrestling!

If you are so disposed--and if Charley and Henny come to your arena--be sure to go see the show. Tell them that "Terry the Terrible" sent you.